Sunday, August 22, 2010
I want that old school commitment with that new school love!
So on this past Saturday afternoon, I found myself watching my old favorite, Their Eyes were Watching God. You know the movie with Hallie Berry and that sexy ass Michael Ealy. (Whew, ok get back on topic Brighter) :-) Something stood out about that movie today that I hadn't noticed before. You see Hallie's character, Janie, married a man three times her age. That was actually the norm back in those days. An older man wanted a younger girl to help around the house and bear his children. Well, as she was helping him out in the field she reflected on her life and stated, "I was a proper wife, I'm still waiting for the love to begin!". Whoa!
After hearing that line I started to think about the dynamic of marriages from back then and the marriages of today. Huge difference! Now granted, Janie ended up leaving mista for the cool dude with the nice clothes and the white hankie but marriages back them lasted the test of time. Not saying I would want a loveless marriage, just saying that marriages took on a completely different nature and meaning.
Today we get married all doe eyed and in love but it doesn't last. Why is that?
I mean isn't the whole point of marriage to make a lifetime commitment to your partner. How is it that today love can exist in the union and it be over in the blink of an eye but back in the day love played no part (not initially anyway) and it last until somebody was called home to glory?
Check out some statistics:
Black marriage rate: 35% in 2002 (vs. 63% in 1950)
Children born IN wedlock: 25% (vs. 80% in 1960)
Crazy right?
My grandparents have been married for over 50 years and while I know for sure they have suffered great disappointments, tragedy, and hardship, they remain a unit. I don't think either could imagine a life without the other.
So like the title of the blog, what I want is the kinda marriage that will last inspite of us falling in and out of love, through the I love you but I don't like you phase, regardless of the money we make and the kinda house we live in, despite the cute girl next door giving him the eye, and through the differing opinions having to learn the skill of compromise.
Simply put, I want that old school commitment with that new school love!
http://www.bookerrising.net/2007/09/statistics-about-black-americans.html
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First of all, Great Title Ms. Future. I think you probably speak the sentiment of everyone woman who desires to marry her soul mate one day. Truth be told, you probably speak for the men as well cuz we wanna be loved infinitely too. We must remember that houses need to built on solid foundations. The same holds true for marriages, relationships & love if its meant to last...and stand the test of time.
ReplyDeleteI take this blog to the heart cause of course every man or woman wants that Grandpa and Grandma relationship. I think with all the hype and the knowing how good the sex is keeps us off that road to a strong marraiage. I think it not only comes down to the how much you love me, or the way you keep house up cause you could be doing your best or could've being trying your best but something as small as pleasing your significant others plays a major role in any relationship and the small toll on an old school relationship! Great Post again lady!!
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www.StayChiseled.com-Johann_Schimdt@StayChiseled.com